why do I always feel this way? why do I only ever draw myself when I’m feeling this way?
the pills are supposed to help. they don’t make me feel better but I feel worse if I stop taking them.
doc says I’ll probably be taking them for the rest of my life.
I’m almost out of clonazepam and likely can’t get a refill. it scares me. it’s supposed to be my safety net if I’m verging on panic but it just makes me slow and stupid. I want to take one right now but I also don’t want to.
I don’t want to be anxious but I don’t want to be drugged and stupid.
god I’m such a fucking drama queen sometimes but I don’t know how to express myself when it comes to this.